“My mother taught me many things throughout my life, particularly in the final chapter of hers. It is difficult to narrow them down to just a handful, but if I had to do so, I would say that she taught me how to persevere in love, and she showed me what faith in God looks like.

During her last hospitalization, Mom suffered an arrhythmia that depleted her energy and left her short of breath at rest. I recall vividly how various hospital staff would enter the room with an agenda, and within seconds she had them smiling or laughing in response to a gentle yet unexpected equip. And she would simply smile when she was unable to laugh. Together we witnessed her bring the light of love to those around her, even in the midst of her own suffering.

And then there were other times when she chose silence out of love. I would watch from a stone’s throw away as someone who needed to talk received the gifts of time, space and holy listening. These and many other “unspoken” lessons were, nevertheless, shared in a profound way.

I have learned that grief is a unique experience and that I had no idea what it really involved until I walked its path myself. I have since learned to love in a way that I never knew was possible- and I realize that I grieve much because I loved much.

What has offered comfort and hope as I grieve is first, recognizing that my mother’s legacy lives on in the lives whom she touched- especially those of my father, her children and her grandchildren. For example, it gives me great delight to see how her love of flowers has been transmitted to a daughter (my sister) who derives immense pleasure from a greenhouse of her own, and whose own daughter’s care for plants and all living things is as natural as eating and sleeping; or how her elder son (my brother)
challenges his boys, in the most unique of ways, to be inquisitive and to thirst for knowledge; or how her younger son (my other brother) now reads to his small daughters in that special animated way that our own mother read to us, instilling a lifelong love of books. The second source of great personal comfort is knowing that she is interceding for me (and all of us) in the ‘here and now’-and that the promise of Eternity means that my family and I will one day be reunited with her before our Father in heaven.

Faith and Grief supported me by providing a community of grievers who understand the quiet realities of grieving: the way it sneaks up on you when you least expect it, and the challenges of standing in your grief around those who do not understand it or are uncomfortable with grief. And by providing concrete exercises to help name and work though my grief as a unique individual. In short, Faith & Grief provided and continues to provide a community that understands my struggle, meets me where I am in my grief journey and ultimately offers hope for a tomorrow that is better than today.”

~Tya-Mae Julien