Grief- New You, New Friends

nger strangers….

More than once or 294 times my colleagues and I have been asked, “How can you do this grief work all the time?” The down-to-earth reply is, “Because we meet the most compassionate, authentic, and spiritual women and men.” The wide-as-the-heavens reply is, “With the gifts God has given us, we believe we are called to bring comfort to men and women by journeying with them through grief and others have affirmed this call.”

One such stranger, now terrific friend, is Joan S. I had been told that she was going to attend a weekend retreat. I was also told, by a trusted source (my older daughter!) that I would discover one amazing, talented, and treasure of a new friend. Indeed! Not only did I appreciate Joan’s sensitive and thoughtful questions and listening skills, I learned so much from her. At the end of the retreat, Joan volunteered to help us rework our curriculum so that it would be easier to follow. She did not need to offer twice. Plus she rounded up others who would help.

One of the additions she suggested, and we followed, was the inclusion of the poem, “Grief” by Gwen Flowers.

Grief

I had my own notion of grief

I thought it was the sad time

That followed the death of someone you love.

And you had to push through it

To get to the other side.

But I’m learning there is no other side.

There is no pushing through.

But rather,

There is absorption.

Adjustment.

Acceptance.

And grief is not something you complete.

But rather, you endure.

Grief is not a task to finish

And move on,

But an element of yourself-

An alteration of your being.

A new way of seeing.

A new definition of self.

Gwen Flowers

What were some of your early notions of grief? In what ways do you feel altered? How do you see your life, other people, and the world in new ways? In one word how would you define yourself? Please share your ideas and this poem with others who are in the process of grief.